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Saturday, July 30, 2016

Operation Headboard

Posted Tuesday, July 14, 2009, at 7:16 PM

Mama has a new bedroom set. Purchased at an estate sale, it's quite a find. Its ornate headboard is more than six feet tall and made of oak -- a king size bed, at that.

All we had to do was get it up to Mom and Dad's bedroom. Yep. Up. Their bedroom is on the second floor and around the corner.

Now I don't know how many people it would take to easily manage the mammoth headboard, but I know how many we had. Two men and one woman, all healthy and in their 70s; and one slightly out of shape news editor. We shoulda called the National Guard.

Dad had studied the situation and his plan was in place. A 1 by 12 board long enough to reach up the whole stairway; plastic furniture sliders, a come-along and straps, Mom's directions and quite a bit of discussion over whether it would fit or not all played a part in the operation.

The move from garage to front door went without incident (except when the sliders slid out from under the bed posts and had to be repositioned)

Next step, in the door. So far, so good.

I took my post at the top of the stairs to operate the come-along, what with my being all mechanically-oriented and all I was the natural choice for this (she said, sarcastically. I have trouble operating pop tops. Mom looked at me suspiciously but Dad was sure I could do it. At least, he was polite enough not to let his doubts show. They love me, but they know my limitations.)

The good news: the headboard fit in the door!

The bad news: it was clearly NOT going to clear the top of the stairwell.

Dad removed the door from its hinges, so we could lean the headboard over more. Still not enough room.

The good news: The headboard was constructed in two pieces; it could be shortened by removing the top molding.

The bad news: It was glued on and the headboard was leaning caty-wampus in the stairway.

Dad pretzel-twisted himself around the monstrosity (sorry Mom. In your room it's a monumental masterpiece. On those stairs it was Oak-zilla) and unbolted, then pried the top of the headboard free;

My job started again. Click-click-click CREAK. Click-click-click CREAK. Slowly Oak-zilla crept up the stairway and into the bathroom, then around the corner.

The remainder of the operation went surprisingly smoothly. In a matter of minutes, Oak-zilla transformed into a still large and ungainly yet unanimated headboard and will soon be reunited with the other pieces of the bed to take its place in the bedroom and will once again become a monumental masterpiece.

If they ever decide to bring it back down those stairs, I am certain I will have the flu. Unless I am washing my socks. Or suddenly called away to Australia.

Meanwhile, Oak-zilla's legacy continues. I am inheriting Mom and Dad's queen size bed. Which means that my full-size bed moves to the spare room. The bed from the spare room must go....Somewhere. But that is another story that hasn't happened just yet.

I think I hear Australia calling. Achoo! And, I am certain there are dirty socks in the bedroom. There must be.

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Lynn Wade
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