I can empathize with your situation. Being a single parent myself for the last seven years (and a single 'Dad' at that), has given me some perspectives on life that I never dreamed would have come to light.

I have come to the conclusion though, that many things work themselves out in their own way, and in their own time. When you are going through learning or changing experiences, sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel seems a distant, even unattainable, goal.

It is a wise choice to reach out to those you know and trust, especially friends and family. They may not always have the right answers, and honestly, many times there is never a 'right' answer. But having shared experiences and gut feelings from others gives you a lot more options from which to pick and choose.

It may not be of value to you, but for myself I included family counseling. My child and I both attended together and separately. I feel it gave both of us a better understanding of what we were facing and how to deal with it. I highly recommend it.

As far as the 'mature cooperation' goes, as long as there is not closure on both sides of the fence, i.e. divorce, custody aggreements, financial aggreements, etc., this really can be considered typical fallout. Not to diminish the effect it has, but just trying to reason the unreasonable. Fortunately for me, the 'mature cooperation' started as soon as all the "i's" were dotted, the "t's" were crossed, and the ink was dry. Sometimes the finality has to sink in that there really isn't anything left to argue about before the actual cooperation can start. That was my experience, but I truly understand that that is not always the case.

My child was old enough to have a pretty good idea of why mom and dad weren't together anymore. Your children are younger, which might make them blissfully unaware, or keenly aware--only unable to comprehend, the why's and how come's. However, as you stated above, it is important not to let your ill feelings for your ex show in front of your children. I know from experience how difficult this can be, and learned the hard way that it can have a way of coming back to haunt you.

In closing, I wish you and your children the best. It is a difficult road. Reach out to others, get all the information you can (including counseling), and stay focused. Ultimately though, only you can make the choices and decisions that need to be made. God speed.

Natalie, there are those of us who have watched you and your situation for a few years. I, for one, am very proud of you for having the courage to take this step. I know it will be hard for a while, but, it will get better.

Yes,the boys are too young at this point to understand, but they will. It's not going to be an easy road ahead, but a worthwhile one. You are a very strong, talented and creative individual, and I believe you know what you want out of life, whether you think so or not. You will be a better person for your actions, plus you are a GREAT Mom.

Don't be afraid to ask for a shoulder to cry on once in a while. Not only is it healthy, but we all need it from time to time!

Dear nobodyimportant:

Thank you so much for your comment. I can see what you mean about dotting the i's and crossing the t's. I believe closure is what my ex and I are both after.

My oldest son started acting out at school to the point where I had to bring him home. Friends of mine suggested he have a way to show his anger, like hitting a pillow, that wouldn't hurt others. I can appreciate this thought, but it goes against my parenting beliefs. I found an article at parentcenter.com that confirms my instincts.

A child psychologist states, "Some experts suggest that parents offer an angry child a harmless way to "vent" his pent-up fury, such as pummeling a special pillow. This, in my opinion, is a mistake. Anger is a feeling, and feelings don't get "used up." In fact, it's clear from recent research that "harmless violence" is a contradiction in terms. A toddler who's encouraged to wallop his pillow in anger is more -- not less -- likely to see walloping a person as an acceptable alternative…Simply acknowledge his feeling -- and perhaps even sympathize with it -- but then remind him that it's much more constructive to use his words to tell you why he's upset."

Click this link to read more.

http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-can-i-...

Since talking about his feelings seems the way to go, I also believe counseling would be a very good thing for him. I know it always helps me sort my own feelings out.

This only one side of the story and and it takes two to argue i have personally witnessed very bad scenes on both sides, and he was not the first to go out on her.