Osama bin Laden has reappeared on videotape and is sporting a brand-new look. His beard was once scraggly and streaked with gray. Now it is more neatly trimmed and dark black. Hmmmm. Sounds like the Queer Eye guys paid a visit to his little cave and did a make-over on him.

Here's a guy who's been hiding in one of the most desolate places on the face of the planet and he comes out with a video sporting a new, hipper look? Is he getting advice from some media consultant somewhere.

I mean, c'mon. bin Laden knows that every time a video comes out it includes more evidence of where it could have been made. Experts analyze every frame and look for evidence of his alleged kidney disease and clues to where the tape might have been made.

Given that scrutiny what kind of egotistical twerp does he have to be? For one thing where does he get his supply of Just For Men? He's got to use more than one package for that beard of his.

He praises nutcase Noam Chomsky but he sounds like a tax-cutting Republican. For example: "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent." Sounds like an argument in favor of a conservative agenda to me.

Personally I don't think his vain little make-over made him look any better. What would improve his looks to me is a rope around his neck suspending him six feet above ground. On second thought I think a crater where he used to be would be more attractive.