Even my little dog Penny is smart enough to know UFOs are a figment of imagination.

This year's crop of presidential candidates is a disappointing hodge-podge of obsolescent ideas and feel-good theories thats long on talk but short on results. Not only that but most candidates lack backbone and intestinal fortitude, I'm tired of hearing how the other candidates are being mean to them.

I hate to let the candidates in on this but presidential politics is hardball. To mangle a Tom Hanks quote "There's no crying in politics."Get over it. Bruises heal and scrapes scab over. Move on.

There is even one candidate I have to wonder what planet he is from. Who supports Dennis Kucinich? I'm sorry but if men are from Mars and women are from Venus, this guy is from Pluto.

Forget that he looks like a slightly cleaned up version of Gollum. Forget that he signed a letter of support for Hugo Chavez. Forget that his economic policies would lead to a recession that makes the Great Depression seem like a mild case of malaise. Forget that he wants the United States to destroy its nuclear stockpile. The thing that makes Dennis Kucinich such a weirdo is his sighting of a UFO.

OK, that's not exactly true. I've seen an unidentified flying object. I looked up into the sky and saw a flying object I couldn't identify. Was it a Piper Cub? Don't know. Was it a 747? Don't know. Was it a Sherman tank? Don't know but I doubt it. Seeing a flying object you can't indentify isn't exactly cause for calling out the guys in the white suits and butterfly nets. The distinguishing factor is whether you jump to the conclusion that because you don't know what it is, aliens are responsible for it..

Kucinich -- on national television -- said he saw a UFO. His supporters are trying to downplay the significance of that but I'm sorry if you say you saw a UFO it's different than saying you saw something you couldn't identify up in the sky.

According to Shirley McClaine Kucinich told her he felt a connection in his heart and heard directions in his mind. I'm sorry but that sounds pretty whacko to me. The problem is that I can't find a quote where Kucinich himself said that but on so many other fronts he is far out crazy so I'm tempted to take McClaine at her word even though the only reason she isn't a permanent resident of the laughing acadamy is that she's a movie star out there in Hollyweird.

Listen, if I saw something up in the sky that made a connection in my heart and gave me directions in my head I'd check myself into the nearest mental health clinic. Seriously. What are the chances that out of the billions of people on earth the little green men would choose me to talk to?

Of all the people running for president, and this year had a bumber crop of them, Kucinich is the runt of the litter. If this were an elementary school playground he would be the kid picked last, after the kid with asthma and the one with the one leg shorter than the other.