Wiring diagram for a three-way light switch. Looks much better than my hand-drawn one.

Back in the day I could draw a diagram of a bridge rectifier, used to convert AC current to DC current, without half thinking about it. Need to wire a three-way light? No problem, let me grab a couple of switches and I'll have you up and running in no time. Now it takes me quite a bit of mental moil (it's a real word) to remember how to do the simplest electric work.

Oh, by the way, if you thought there was something sexual about the title of this entry -- shame on you! You have a dirty mind.

I was talking to my brother Vernon and he told me he was having trouble wiring up a three-way light switch on a set of stairs. He wanted to be able to turn a light in the stairway on or off at the top or the bottom of the steps. Simple, I've done this a hundred times.

"First you get two switches and you run a wire direct to the light," I started out. So far so good. Then the confusion kicked in. "Uh, then you run the hot wire, one of the wires, there are three of them, uh, you run it, uh, hmmm. You have to have it so both switches are on at the same time."

Well, that's sort of right, but not very illuminating (yes! a pun) when trying to tell someone 1500 miles away what to do. The problem is I couldn't envision it clearly in my mind. I had to take several stabs at drawing it before I got it right. Even with unlimited weekend minutes to waste I didn't have the time to tell it to him so I'm going to redraw the diagram that I finally got right on a clean sheet of paper and mail it to him. As the old saying goes, one picture is worth a thousand words. Or in my case, considerably more.

Another thing about the talk my brother and I had; there was an awful lot of talk about aches and pains. Now it's one thing if you get a little bit rusty about how to do something you haven't done in awhile, it's quite another when you start talking like a couple of octogenarians about what part of your body isn't working this week.

He has a severe problem with his back, he's had surgery and gets some shots a couple of times a year to help with the pain. I'm in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in, but I fell on the ice we got back in December and the tendon in my thumb tore, at least partly. Now there is a lump at the base of my thumb and it causes me problems from time to time. I went to a doctor, several in fact, and they are just going to let it heal on its own.

This winter the precipitation we've had has mostly been thin and slick instead of thick and fluffy so since my fall I've been semi-skating when I've had to walk on it. Doing that has saved me from more falls but makes it look like I'm about 90.

So much for Al Gore and his man-made global warming. I think I'll chase him down and beat him half to death with Punxsutawney Phil, that obnoxious rodent prognosticator that predicted six more weeks of winter. As if I could catch either one of the vile creatures, Gore or Phil before blowing out my knee.