When I was in Journalism school at KU (Rock Chalk Jayhawk!), I decided to double major in creative writing. I took some fabulous classes that polished my writing skills in poetry, fiction and non-fiction essay writing. I have files upon files of writing pieces at home, just waiting…

And unfortunately, I feel, wait they shall.

While I was in college, I had great dreams of becoming a published writer. I felt this was a strong gift that God has blessed me with. However, with school, work, family, friends, etc., I never seemed to find the time. I would have time once I graduated and got a real job.

Wrong.

It is always my intention. But you know what they say about good intentions. As I said, I have all of the files at home with works just waiting to be looked over and revised, and I have all of these ideas in my head just waiting to be put on paper. Instead, they are always put on the back burner.

I have so many things to do in a day and only so many hours to do them in. Spend time in the Word and prayer, take care of my family, work, clean the house, fix supper, pay bills, and jump on the stair stepper. I don't really feel like I have more to do than the average person. But sitting down at the end of the day to write just feels impossible after everything else. I don't really feel like I even have time to jot thoughts down in a journal, which I love doing, or picking up a book (although I finally went to the Nevada Public Library -- which is fabulous (I was having library withdraws) - and checked out 'A Fine Balance').

I think part of it is because I am putting too much pressure on myself to write. It's like, "Ok, everything else is done, ready, set, write!" I don't know about other writers, but I don't really work that way. At least, that is what I have convinced myself. My greatest intimidation in writing classes at college was that I had to come up with something on command. But I did. And they were pretty good. I try to tell myself that I need to write when the mood hits me. Well, what if the mood hits me in the middle of a load of dirty dishes? I did write a little ditty the other day in my notebook, after Cainan went to bed, in the few minutes I was able to sit down on the couch next to Josh. I was pretty happy with myself. It was a great release.

Really, it's all a matter of priorities. I need a quite space at the end or the beginning of the day when I can just write. I thought about it the other night and I realized that I might get approximately two minutes a day to myself (that's not counting sleeping or going to the bathroom, which, isn't always by myself in my house.) I realized this as my husband and son continued to come into the bathroom during and after my shower. I love my family beyond limits. I just need some solitude, a little time to myself. Writing offers that to me. It is not impossible. It is important. This is part of what makes me who I am. I miss it. I just need a little desk with a little space for notes and I need to make myself set aside the time to do it. I think that once I do that, give myself some space to create, I will find inspiration in places where I'm not even looking.