Young Blood 8/5

Tuesday, August 5, 2003

Sleep, a word that seems almost lost in my vocabulary. Sleep, a simple word with a very simple meaning but with a concept that I have yet to grasp. It seems like I have gotten myself into a cycle of either having too much or not enough. I am either so tired that I walk around like a zombie for the better part of the morning or too much and have so much energy that I burn myself out and turn into a zombie by mid-afternoon. When can I have a compromise? Compromise, another word that seems to be equally as lost in my vocabulary. For the past two years, I have really been the only person that I've had to compromise with and my biggest compromise usually consisted on how long I would let myself stay at a party if I had something the next day. If I didn't go, that meant I would miss out on some very good socializing and if I did go who knows how long I would stay. So, I would always consult and take along my compromise buddy, Will. Will would always lightly push (or in some cases forcefully drag) me to the door and remind me that I only let myself go to that party because I knew that I could make myself leave at a reasonable hour. Or, Will would remind me that I would only spend money from every other paycheck on stuff that "wanted" instead of on the typical items that I "needed." I have come to learn that with living at home brings a lot more compromises into my life. For instance, at school I got into the habit of waiting until eleven at night to go out with my friends and then not get home until close to three. Not that I could begin to think of anything in Nevada that would be worth staying up until 3 o'clock for, nevertheless this was something that I had to compromise with parents. If they let me have my freedom and go out of the evenings, I would be back home by midnight or one o'clock. I know that life is always going to be full of compromises especially once I finally settle down and have a steady job, husband, and family. And I also know that I won't always have my trusty compromise buddy, Will. I do know that with each year and each new experience compromises get easier and easier and the frustrations of having them become less and less. If this had been three years ago and my parents had asked me to come home at a certain time, I would have thrown a fit and told them they were not letting me be an adult. But now I know that becoming an adult means doing the things that we might not always want to do (like go to sleep even when there is something good on TV) but know that we have to do to either better ourselves or get along with the people around us.

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