To me the fact that friends and family do gather together to celebrate each other and the bounty of our lives is the whole meaning of the day. I know that on other years I have bemoaned the fact that my turkey wasn't carved prettily or that some of the kids didn't seem to appreciate the amount of work that went into preparing such a meal for a large family. But I never really wanted to change it.

Sometimes circumstances change things for us. Last year we had the joy of having Thanksgiving dinner with our son and his family in Texas. I didn't do a thing except praise the cooks and dishwashers. That was the second time we have been able to be with them in Texas for that day.

A few years ago we had Thanksgiving at the family home, The Wayside, when my brother Harold (who was then only about 95 or 96) was here for a visit.

Our son's family, my sister and our family shared the cooking. It was also great.

This year it appears that our only Thanksgiving guests may be a couple of grown grandsons and their girl friends who may join those of us who live here. That will be a small group, but it will still be good. We will have an evening meal because some will be working that day until mid-afternoon, but that gives a nice relaxed time to cook leisurely.

As I am cooking I will think back to the meals my mother prepared on this day. I remember the ones while we were living in Washington, D.C. the best.

We had a long rectangular table that could have four leaves put in it. We always had to do that on Thanksgiving. When we were all still at home, we often had visiting cousins, boy or girl friends of my older siblings and special friends joining us.

My mother made the best pumpkin pie that I have ever eaten. I don't know what made it special but she always served it with real whipped cream on top with a little hole in the cream where she put a spoonful of honey. My husband learned to like that way of eating pumpkin pie in later years when he joined our family for meals at The Wayside.

We only had one meat, turkey, when my mother was the cook. In later years when I discovered that our sister Miriam disliked turkey, I started having both ham and turkey. Sometimes that's hard to manage with just one oven, but that's an advantage of living close to family members. We can use each other 's ovens sometimes.

This year when I am fixing our meal I will be thinking about the meals my mother prepared for our big family. I will also think about and miss my daughters-in-law who always brought something for our recent meals. Jenny always brought the pies, made the gravy and fixed the dressing. Joan was the expert with mashed potatoes and has a special sweet potato dish we all like.

Our children always share the work also. Michael carves the meat, Mark sets up the table and chairs, Shirley organizes the drinks and Susan does all the last minute jobs I can't do at once. The grown grandchildren who aren't busy corralling their own children usually help with the clean up.

So even though most of them will be anywhere from Texas to Pennsylvania this year, as I do the tasks they used to do, I will still feel that we are gathering together.