February tax fever

Hi neighbors. Have you written your "howdies" to our favorite uncle yet? Good ole Uncle Sam of course. It's the time of year he expects those cards, letters (and checks) to start floating his way.

Although you might be one of those procrastinators who wait till April 14 to get your taxes done, and then don't mail them off until almost midnight the next day, other folks can't seem to wait for any thing.

Some people I know can be found waiting for the tax preparers to open up on January first with their tax papers, notes, receipts and checkbooks in hand.

Of course, they can only do that if all the forms have arrived from their banks, employers, mortgage holders and any other people they have done business with over the past year.

Since many of those forms don't legally have to be mailed out till January 31, some tax filers have to be patient.

Have you ever attempted to do your own taxes? What a hideous thought! I can' t even remember which is my gross income and which is my "presentable" or net income. I think the confusion comes from interpreting "gross" as something I refer to as "snarky" and meaning unsavory and repulsive.

Maybe it would help if they changed it to "what they told you they would pay you" and "what you actually take home." I think gross income is the biggest amount before things are taken out.

Right? My pay stubs have more "take-outs" every month than McDonalds, Hardees, SubWay, KFC and Sonic combined. Most of which goes to either insurance or -- you know already -- our favorite uncle! Some people have challenged the government's habit of dipping into their income throughout the year and have refused to pay their income tax through deductions from their paychecks.

They claim that the government has no right to use their money all year without their consent, and without paying any interest to them for its use.

I understand their point. If you've ever owed money to either state or federal income tax collectors, you know charging interest is a big deal when the government is on the receiving end of the payoff.

Only Lenny the Loanshark and some credit card companies charge a higher rate of interest.

I don't hassle the government over my tax deductions. In my case, if Uncle Sam didn't take his share off the top, he probably couldn't expect it at the end of the year.

That was a pretty common problem in the country's history too, which is the reason the whole tax deduction process started in the first place.

When millions of people owe taxes and just say no to an uncle with outstretched palms, what else could the government do? Since I usually get a little bit back (at least enough to buy one or two edible take-outs of my own) I don't mind too much. I look at it as a savings account that pays no interest and offers no guarantee of any return.

There are computer programs for all sorts of things these days and doing taxes isn't excluded.

Each year we average folk are encouraged to buy an updated computer program that "knows" all the new tax laws and can finish our tax preparation in a matter of minutes.

Of course, they don't consider the hours we have to spend finding all those "tax" papers. I call them that because not only are they related to income tax preparation; but they seem to speed off on their own and you can never find them when you need them.

Tax preparation is simple! so the government, computer program designers and media keep telling us. If it's so simple, why does the government print out a 300 page booklet on how to do them? And this missive advises you to go to the government website to get your forms and other information.

How could such a simple task require more information than that within a 300 page book? Well, needless to say, I don't do my own taxes.

Until the next time friends remember; tax forms should not be designed to be confusing. If the government didn't have to publish millions of 300 page books each year explaining how to complete tax forms, maybe they wouldn't need our tax money in the first place.