Happy holidays

WASHINGTON -- "A new report from the National Intelligence Estimate concludes that Iran's nuclear weapons development program has been halted since the fall of 2003, a stark contrast to the conclusions U.S. spy agencies drew just two years ago."

-- The Associated Press

Happy holidays and a season of merriment to all of you!

This has been a wonderful, blessed year at the Nie household. Most of us have enjoyed good health throughout the year, although some of us are having a few vision issues. Even our hindsight is no longer 20/20. Not to worry. Our hearts are focused on the positive, and we're not going to let that old Grinch steal our Christmas.

All of us have been extremely busy with work and family life. You know how that keeps you hopping.

One big piece of news in the Nie family is that our older son, Oscar, has finally found full-time employment as a mechanic at Sonny's Auto Repair. He took the job three years ago, and we are truly sorry if any of you are puzzled by our previous Christmas epistles that might have led you to believe he had finished divinity school and had been ordained to the priesthood. The fact that he's happily spending his days as a grease monkey is gospel. Get it? Divinity school? Gospel? Oscar's always been such a cut-up.

We're so proud of all three of our children. I know, I know. Some of you are scratching your heads and possibly even rereading some of our old holiday missives that said we have five children. We have to admit that the two children whose births we've announced since 2004 were figments of our imagination. Isn't that a hoot? I'm sure you're laughing just as hard as we are. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Papa Donald is finally giving serious thought to retirement after 33 years with the highway department. We certainly understand if you're surprised to know he's still alive after reading his obituary in the Town Crier in early 2005. What can we say? Mistakes happen. And thank you for all those lovely and thoughtful sympathy cards.

Daughter Peggy Opal is doubly excited this holiday season as she plans to announce her engagement on Christmas Eve to Buford Blatt, that nice young man she met at Tanglewood. He's so handsome -- and you should see him with an oboe in his mouth! Oh, in case you're wondering, the wedding announcements we sent in 2004 were, obviously, premature since Peggy Opal hadn't even been to music camp and couldn't possibly have met her life-mate. Your wedding gifts were splendid, to say the least, although it would be safe to say no newly married couple needs that many Belgian waffle irons.

We are all so glad that younger son Bill Tom is fully recovered after his surgery. He donated a kidney to a woman in Fresno, someone he never met. We still don't know her real name. This makes three years in a row that Bill Tom has donated a kidney, which is great because his blood type is so rare. OK. Some of you brainiacs have already done the math and are wondering how Bill Tom had three kidneys to spare. Maybe some of those donated organs were spleens or something like that. They all look so squishy, don't they?

Well, I guess that just leaves me, Mama Doreen. You're probably dying to know what I've been up to. I hope you will honor my request to keep what I'm about to tell you strictly confidential. I'd hate to put anyone's life in jeopardy. But the truth is I've gone to work for the National Intelligence Estimate. That's so cool, because I'm a Nie (by marriage, of course) and work for the NIE. Nie and NIE. Get it? Can you believe it? Like I said, that's top secret. The NIE is so fussy about things like that. Did you know I report directly to the White House? It's so great, because the president never questions anything I tell him. He's what I call a perfect boss.

Enough of all that. Here's wishing you all the best holiday season ever from all of us at the Nie house. Merry Christmas!

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.