Who's for President?

Dear editor:

In Montana at least one could quite likely claim that the United States of America is a great country and not get thrown under a bus for saying so. Further, a good argument could be made that the United States as a nation has done more for the welfare and good of humanity than any other nation in history. In both the private sector and through governmental programs this nation and its people invented and/or developed a medical science and practice that is the envy of the civilized world. We have surprisingly often made this accomplishment widely available for free. We invented and established the longest lasting democratic republic in history. We created a nation of laws, not of men. We opened our borders to the world. And in the last generation we began to give full rights and privileges and protection under our laws to anyone cleaver enough to cross our borders and not even expect them to become citizens or respect our laws. When we catch someone in the act of trying to kill us, we are in the process of figuring out a way that we can drag them into court, and declare them innocent until we can reveal enough classified information to prove otherwise. Yes, this is a great country.

Therefore with the United States having the most expensive educational system in the world, it must go without saying so, that we only select the best and brightest people to operate the machinery of our government. People who are well versed in our history and culture. Of course. People who are knowledgeable of our problems and of our interests. Certainly. People who are experienced in the matters of government protocol and executive maturity. Absolutely. People who can at the very least spell the words, global real politic. Hopefully.

We presently have three presidential candidates who would -- be the most powerful man (for you PC readers, whenever I say, man, just mentally read-in, and or woman, -- old habits are hard to break at my age -- no slight intended.) of the most powerful nation on earth.

One is an honest man, extremely modest and who never misses an opportunity to tell you when he has knowingly made a mistake, but who would not ever, to escape the fires of Hades, admit that he everunknowingly made an error.

His only venial sin is that he is an unabashed RINO. But he is a true Hero's Hero.

The next candidate has had very unique White House experience. This candidate has closed more "-gates" than most ranchers have during a lifetime of branding operations. This candidate is so intelligent that she married a man who could not have passed the background investigation required of a West Point Cadet, but who was to enable her to learn the cattle futures trade in one easy lesson. This candidate has an imagination that is even immune to sniper fire, and is faster than an undocumented New York driver's license. In fact this candidate is the co-possessor of the largest collection of White House memorabilia known to exist outside of the White House. She does have a small electoral problem. She is not well liked.

What the final candidate lacks in experience he more than makes up in the audacity of hope and elocutionary promotion of change. Having had the misfortune of spending his formative years 2,500 miles outside the nearest "hood," he nevertheless parlayed a Harvard law degree into a tenured instructorship. Thus armed the candidate joined a well endowed Black Theology Church that afforded him fit for public office. Under the Reverend mentorship of an ex-officio affiliate of the well known Nation of Islam, which by the way is headed by the renowned Louis Farrakhan who is also well known and admired in certain Islamofacist circles, the candidate now had a base that could, and would, vet him fitness to hold down the position of head honcho of the greatest nation on earth.

OK. I'll admit that occasionally for as smart as we Americans are, we do some dumb things now and then. But it is our constitutional right to be stupid, so be sure and vote anyway -- but only once, of course.

Richard C. Coffman

Dickinson Miles City, Mont.