Can you hear me now?

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Hi neighbors. Welcome to 2014! Things are off to a shaky start I'd say. I am so ready for June -- it doesn't snow in June, nor sleet nor drop to four degrees in the night. Wind chill is not even mentioned in weather reports in June. I am definitely ready for June.

I bought a new snow shovel this year, along with lots of de-icer for my windshield and salt for my sidewalk. I thought I was ready for winter.

But then, I thought I was ready for wide spread disaster; but I need to think again.

Were you at work or at home when AT&T shutdown last week? No land lines, no lan networks, no cell phones, no computers, no banking, no gas pumps, no Internet ... how could we survive all that? Everyone was waiting to see if they should panic or just go home and worry about it there.

I did hear one lone voice yelling: "It has come! The dreaded zombie apocalypse has arrived!" A few people listened to this person and grabbed their git and got out of town. Everyone knows you don't want to be in a crowd when the zombies start shuffling.

I, however, tried to be the voice of reason. Since I could not call or text or e-mail anyone, to share my theories with, I just spoke with anyone close enough to hear. "Don't panic! It must be some international computer hacker who has taken over America's anything-electric network."

We had no idea what was going on, but since no one could get anything to work people either gave up and went home or tried to wait it out so they could work again. There were coffee and donuts passed around, slips of paper exchanged to write wills upon, ice cream eaten because who cares if you eat too many calories when the world might end before your lunch break!

Finally, someone who knew what to do and had the good sense to do so, found out that the trouble stemmed from AT&T. Cell phones not a part of AT&T, mostly Verizon so many said, could still call -- but only to other people on Verizon.

All other cell phones and land lines simply buzzed a disrupted busy signal.

The trouble in the U.S. was in big cities like Los Angeles, Houston, Chicago, Lubbock, Euiess, Washington, Sacramento, Louisville and Lake Charles. Little ole Nevada wasn't so proud or happy of the title of littlest victim. I don't know if other countries were affected.

What amazed me was the seemingly weird areas of trouble. Most of the trouble seemed on the West Coast or Texas. Why didn't Kansas City get hit? Or St. Louis? Or anywhere east of the Mississippi?

I guess the Zombie Apocalypse wasn't the cause of the trouble. No one has been named as the hacker who took down AT&T (even for just a few hours).

As a matter of fact, not much of anything has been announced to the public about what happened and why. Lots of conspiracy theories have developed.

One theory was it was all Obama's fault. The hows and whys are a little indistinct, but the pointing of blaming fingers is unshaken. "He's testing his Big Brother network," was one thought. I haven't disregarded this theory yet.

Another was some terrorist hacker was testing how much damage they could do by disrupting just one major artery in America's lifelines.

I have decided that as a nation we don't do well without our toys. As people, we stand united, coffee and donuts in hand, to fight terrorists, or even zombies.

Remember friends, to be prepared for the next time the phones go dead buy some battery powered walkie-talkies to keep in touch.