The Vernon County Jail; A bed and breakfast for the safety oriented consumer

If the Sheriff's Office were a "business" then it would be safe to say business is booming. With the holiday season just behind us, we have seen an increase over the past week in thefts, pursuits, and domestic violence calls. Because of the nature of out-of-county housing and the income that it generates in our jail, sometimes it feels more like we're running a business then a regular jail.

If this were considered a business, we would be one of the most successful businesses when it comes to advertising. We would also be one of the only businesses that can go out and get the "customers" and bring them to our facility. Generally, a business wants people to come to their place of business and the advertising is supposed to encourage people to come try the product they are selling.

While watching a local advertisement, I began to think that if the Vernon County Bed and Breakfast were to advertise, we would need to encourage people not to try our product. But what would we be advertising?

First, it would be one of the most secure bed and breakfasts available for the safety oriented customer. We provide top of the line security that includes video surveillance, bars over the windows, solid steel doors that lock every time they shut, as well as armed security. If you're looking for a place to feel safe, then you can check that block when choosing us.

We also offer a five-star kitchen that can make the best mashed potatoes, chicken nuggets, and macaroni you can find. Served fresh to your door three times a day, you never have to worry about finding a place to eat. All meals are served on luxurious, solid plastic, all-in-one trays, and a spork is included with every meal for your convenience.

And don't worry about the laundry, or even what clothes to bring, because we provide all the clothing you need! A very fashionable once piece attire is provided when checking in. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, toilet paper, and even soap are all included in your stay.

We also provide a number of activities to participate in including trash clean-up days, chaplain services, and tours of the city that run from the VCSO to the Vernon County Courthouse. Most tours also include a walk through the courthouse and a visit to the court room where, if you're lucky, you may have the opportunity to meet the judge in person.

These services speak for themselves, but the biggest highlight of all is that we are the cheapest bed and breakfast you can find with these services! The only thing that is required to stay in our fine facility is one bad choice, a small amount of your freedom and some time away from your family and friends (unless they choose to come stay with you).

If you do not have a ride we provide a full transportation service and will be more than happy to give you a ride. But if you choose not to try out our services, we would recommend some other beneficial activates that include; working, saying no to drugs, being responsible, and enjoying freedom! Try it out and see how it feels. If you don't like it, you can always come try our fine facility and all the things we have to offer.