Sanders offers message of hope in Sheldon

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Thursday evening the Sheldon gymnasium was awash with laughter as parents and students gathered to listen to and learn from Bill Sanders. Sanders, a motivational speaker and parenting counselor from Kalamazoo, Mich., is the author of 13 books on the subject of parenting, with a special emphasis on dealing with teenagers. Thursday nights presentation was entitled "Building Successful Families" and involved a long string of funny stories sprinkled with parenting and relationship tips. "Is there anything in the world tougher than parenting," asked Sanders. One important part of Sanders' talk was for parents wanting to protect their children from everything harmful out there. A parent is only with their child for a limited amount of time during the day but the world and culture are with them 24 hours a day. The only thing that a parent can do is try to protect their child from this onslaught. However, when the child does screw up the only thing a parent can do is hug them and continue to offer love. Sanders related a story, from his own life, of when his daughter told him that she was pregnant at 18. "If your daughter ever says. 'I'm pregnant,' you wrap your arms around her and you tell her 'I love you and it's going to be OK.' I don't care if you mean it, I don't care if it's the biggest lie you've ever told," said Sanders. When something like that happens, the daughter is dying inside. That is why it is even more important to support them in spite of their mistakes, not shun them because of it, he added. Sanders also offered some advice for a successful marriage. "Never let the sun go down when your angry," said Sanders. He said that it is important to resolve any conflict before going to sleep. Sanders other advice was a little more light hearted, "I don't run her life, and I don't run mine either." Sanders offered some suggestions to becoming a successful parent and family. "Invite laughter into your home. The home should always be a fun place," he said. Sanders feels that it is very important to laugh and reflect that the only people without any problems are dead. Sanders also counseled the audience to not be afraid of making sure that their children do the right thing -- even if it means being the bad guy. If a parent can suffer through the tantrums and the silent treatment, then one day the children will thank the parent for being strong and protecting the children, he said.

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