Middle Age Plus

Are you seeing changes in your looks and in your body? This sounds like a come-on for a miracle cream or tonic, but it is not. It is an attempt to find out from other middle age plus people if I am unique, or if this is a common occurrence.

I received a cute e-mail this week from a friend who said that some of her body parts were being stolen and replaced with inferior parts that didn't look at all like hers did.

Another e-mail went the rounds a few years ago about a mysterious old woman who kept appearing in the mirror of the writer whenever she glanced in the looking glass. These funny stories caused a chuckle, but I am serious today. I wonder if it is possible that what is happening to me is common.

I used to think that gray hair was one of the worst marks of passing middle age. I don't really have all that much gray hair -- just light brown hair (or dishwater blond as my brothers used to name it) that is beginning to look drab. It's not gray, just blah. But that doesn't bother me too much. At least I have ample hair.

Wrinkles were something that I saw in older people's faces when I was younger. I knew that wouldn't happen to me, because -- well, I don't know why I knew it wouldn't happen to me -- I just felt that my skin would remain firm. When I quit having to worry about acne, I thought my problems in that area were over.

False teeth were the symbols of those who had passed their prime. Cartoons of toothless old geezers with their dentures in a glass of water by their beds were common. I drank quantities of milk when I was young, and still get plenty. So I knew my teeth would remain with me always. Except for some wisdom teeth and adjoining jaw teeth that got entangled with the roots of the wisdom teeth, I was right. I still have natural teeth. Not pretty ones, but mine.

The need to wear glasses or have bifocals was no problem since the designs are quite stylish and the glasses hide the circles under my eyes. Also cataract surgery has made seeing in the later years a breeze for many of us.

I don't take any medicine except an occasional Tums, and my blood pressure and other tests always come out fine.

So why am I wondering about the signs of older age? When I look around me I realize I am really very lucky. I drive anywhere I want to --even across country. I attend meetings, give presentations, write these columns, meet new people often; and I can read, watch TV, listen to music, play with my pets, watch the changes in nature, visit with my family, and eat most things as long as they don't contain onions or garlic. My life is good.

But just this summer I have been dismayed by something I had never even considered would be happening to me. I saw a picture that was taken of me and reacted in horror. The angle of the picture made me look like I had a double chin.

Well, not a real double chin -- just a lot of flesh wiggling around in front of my neck bone. The photographer had used a bad angle to get that distortion I was sure. Later I had to face the truth when I took a good look at myself from all angles. It was true.

So is this happening to all middle age people or am I unique? Turtle neck blouses and shirts can get awfully hot in the summertime.