The Way I See It

Sticks and stones ...

Three cheers to the Nevada school district and others like it who are making an effort to help kids learn how to deal with bullies at an early age.

Bullies are real. They exist in the adult world as well as in the halls of schools, and it's a shame when they're allowed to continue their behavior unchallenged.

Recently, columnist Pat Brophy, among other things, condemned schools for spending valuable time offering programs aimed at reducing bullying, and criticizing modern education's efforts to teach core skills (Nevada patrons, worry not. The district's accreditation with distinction is evidence that the students are doing well academically, overall.) He sees a different aspect of the bullying issue from the one I see. He sees a trend toward schools teaching "behavior modification," rather than basic skills.

I see schools empowering the kids to learn and to deal with bullies throughout life. It's a skill just as valuable -- but in a much different way -- as reading, writing, or any other capability one might use in the workplace.

Studies-- including one by the Menneger Child and Family Center -- show that reducing bullying enhances the learning environment. A child and teachers can concentrate on the subject matter, not whether some of those children will be facing emotional or physical attack the minute class is over.

Here's a story for you -- my own personal experience. I was never bullied much in school, but in seventh grade a young lady, for some reason, demanded I meet her after school so she could beat me up, every day for several weeks. Basically, I got nothing out of science class during that time.

Frankly, it interfered with learning. If I were asked today what I learned in that class, I'd have to answer I learned that the girl, was insecure and had no social skills.

Back then, the basic approach was "ignore it and it will go away." Ignoring her made her more aggressive in her behavior until the seating chart changed.

I'm glad that now, there's at least an attempt to do something about it. The fact that kids today have an option other than waiting for the seating chart to change is, no doubt, giving some student somewhere an opportunity to learn the science curriculum.

Bullying, however, doesn't necessarily stop at graduation.

Recently, the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health released a report about bullying. Not at school. Not on the playground. In the workplace. It seems that across the nation, there's a problem with bullying in the workplace and the stirrings of recognition of this behavior in the corporate world. These children may end up in any city or town, in any corporate or small business environment, and the NIOSH report indicates they could face a workplace bully. So, learning about bullying now may be something that will help students in the future.

Bullies -- especially those who try to attack with blame, unfounded criticism and acts that undermine the effectiveness of a colleague or corporate underling -- can cost companies big in employee productivity, absenteeism, lawsuits and physical and mental health care costs, and knowing how to deal with bullies could help future business leaders immensely.

The NIOSH report, from a survey of human resources folks on reported incidents, offers these statistics:

The report notes, that, in the most recent incident those who responded were aware of:

* 24.5 percent of the companies surveyed reported that some degree of bullying had occurred there during the preceding year.

* 39.2 percent involved an employee as the aggressor, 24.5 percent involved a customer, and 14.7 percent involved a supervisor.

* 55.2 percent involved the employee as the "victim," 10.5 percent the customer, and 7.7 percent the supervisor.

A number of student and adult organizations that combat bullying note that both students and adults have committed suicide because of bullying -- although typically the bully's methods often change as time passes.

Organizations have cropped up over the years in the U.S., Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia addressing the problem of workplace bullying. All three note that adult bullies have much in common with their schoolyard counterparts, and tend to try to harm the competent and talented people, (don't we tell kids "nevermind that. That person's just jealous") because these capabilities are threatening to the bully in some way.

Apparently this problem is behavior that goes beyond the everyday disagreements between employees, or supervisors instructing employees to complete a task, or normal discipline when necessary.

The International Labour Organization defines workplace bullying as "any incident in which a person is abused, threatened or assaulted in circumstances relating to their work… all forms or harassment, bullying, intimidation, physical threats/assaults, robbery and other intrusive behaviors."

"A workplace bully subjects the target to unjustified criticism and trivial fault-finding. In addition, he or she humiliates the target, especially in front of others, and ignores, overrules, isolates and excludes the target.

"If the bully is the target's superior, he or she may: set the target up for failure by setting unrealistic goals or deadlines, or denying necessary information and resources; either overload the target with work or take all work away (sometimes replacing proper work with demeaning jobs); or increase responsibility while removing authority."

-- Canada Safety Council

The Canada Safety Council also says, "Bullied employees waste between 10 and 52 per cent of their time at work. Research shows they spend time defending themselves and networking for support, thinking about the situation, being demotivated and stressed, not to mention taking sick leave due to stress-related illnesses."

Relationships with friends and family suffer, the organization said.

"Physical and mental health problems, fatigue, low functioning, and even suicide are common. The victims are sometimes forced to resign even as the bully is rewarded promoted."

That explains the problem. Advice on the victim's course of action varies.

In the U.S., if you discount sexual harassment or discrimination based on race, religion, sex, age, disability and so forth, workplace bullying may not even be acknowledged and there's little legal recourse. Essentially, targets of bullying often have to handle it themselves.

"When these attacks happens to us, we are told -- take it or leave. When we stand up to these attacks, we are told that we, not the attackers, have a bad attitude, and must be disciplined. When we try to change the situations, we are told that we are 'whiners' and that we must be the one who grows up, not the person or group who are using the violence of their positions to achieve control over social situations."

-- International Allies Against Workplace Harassment

Organizations recommend outlining, defining and prohibiting workplace bullying in a handbook, which would give the victim a tool for resolving the situation.

Other than that only a few options remain, like asking them to stop, documenting incidents and reporting the problem. These mirror some of the tips given to kids through the Stamp Out Bullying program -- like making friends and telling someone.

If this problem of non-physical bullying is so damaging to adults, just think how harmful it -- or the more intrusive physical threat or action -- could be in the mind of a child. The least we can do is help our children deal with bullying.

If we don't, we're the bullies ourselves.