Presidents in love

Hi neighbors. Valentine's Day is just around the corner with President's Day hot on its heels.

I don't know about you, but it seems odd to have those two holidays is such close proximity. I just can't associate any president with the highest virtue. Not that our presidents don't have virtues! But, I just haven't seen any to invoke romantic feelings in their constituents.

Maybe that's why Valentine's Day is celebrated first, get all those romantic feelings taken care of over the weekend before getting back to rational thinking for the next holiday -- Presidents Day.

How did our two most famous presidents fare in the romantic department? Let's take a look.

It seems George did better than Abe in picking a wife. Although his wife was a young widow with two children when they married, George and Martha never had children together.

Being the father of the country must have been a heavy burden to George, but Martha did everything in her power to make his home life enjoyable and comfortable. Not only did she maintain the "little woman at home" persona, she also was accomplished as being the "hostess with the mostess" at formal functions as the first First Lady.

From her letters, (few of which survive) she determinedly carried the burden of politics alongside her husband.

"I think I am more like a state prisoner than anything else, there is certain bounds set for me which I must not depart from..." Martha Washington confided to a niece that she did not entirely enjoy her role as First Lady. She once conceded that "many younger and gayer women would be extremely pleased" in her place; she would "much rather be at home." Typical for a girl in an 18th-century family, her education was almost negligible except in domestic and social skills, but she learned all the arts of a well-ordered household and how to keep a family contented.

Her love of private life equaled her husband's; but, as she wrote to her friend Mercy Otis Warren, "I cannot blame him for having acted according to his ideas of duty in obeying the voice of his country." As for herself, "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." George and Martha were alone after his retirement as her daughter and son had died. There were some grandchildren though and that must have comforted them. Their time together after retirement was short as George died soon after.

George and Martha, who shared every aspect of their lives with each other, share an unpretentious tomb in Mount Vernon.

Although I found little about any other women in George's life, some historians say Abe had a "thing" for Ann Rutledge and when she died at age 22, he never really loved again.

Whether his heart was broken over love, or simply saddened by the loss of a dear friend, he found some degree of comfort in courting Mary Owens. He asked her to marry him but she turned him down.

Maybe she recognized a guy on the rebound when she saw one.

When Abe got his wits about him, he found a delightful lady, who happened to be from a distinguished family. Mary Todd was a high-spirited, quick-witted, and well-educated, young socialite. Besotted log-cabin Abe didn't know if "new money" could win her heart. Although he was making an extremely good income, she was from the other side of the tracks.

Abe got his courage up and proposed. Cold feet got the best of him and he broke off the engagement. Being without her did nothing but make him miserable though, so he asked her again and they married.

They seemed to share affection and were fond of each other, although Abe's duties away from home were a great strain on her and their marriage.

Mary had trouble dealing with four sick children and her own health problems.

She suffered from recurring headaches, fits of temper, and a sense of insecurity and loneliness. After his election to the presidency, she was afflicted by the death of her son Willie, by a war that made enemies of Kentucky relatives and friends, and by the unfair public criticisms of her as First Lady.

After Abe was murdered, which she witnessed, she was declared insane. As traumatic and painful as their marriage had been, the trauma that ended it must have been much worse.

Until the next time friends remember, if you want a lot of time for romance in your marriage, don't run for president!