Nodding acquaintances with our neighbors

There are countless people I know only by sight, and to whom, I give a "nod," in friendly greeting.This practice by myself and so many of our local citizens, is one of the perks, of living in a small town environment.

Last Friday night, I attended the final home basketball games at Nevada High School. There was a huge crowd on hand, as it was also Court Warming night. During the evening, I saw and nodded at several people.They were familiar, but I was uncertain if we actually knew each other. It really didn't matter; there was a bond of fellowship through recognition that is part of the fabric of our community.

Those same nods and smiles are repeated so very often in our less densely populated rural locale. One could go for days or weeks in a metropolitan area such as Kansas City, without seeing a familiar face in the crowd. It is perhaps what makes us so different in our relationships.

I have surmised for years, that a small town atmosphere gives people a gentler outlook. In a big city, a person might be in a situation where they become quite exasperated in a certain situation. This could be the service they are receiving at a variety of locations such as a restaurant, hospital, store, etc.

The anger that builds in that city dweller might eventually boil over into a full fledged explosion. Shouting, cursing, and many different styles of rants may be displayed. This person's behavior might just reflect what my family always described as, "throwing a fit!"

Later they could remorsefully feel some embarrassment, but that would pale in comparison, to how a person from our area might feel, after such an outburst. You see, the person from the city would very likely "throw their fit," in front of complete strangers. It might cause a few moments of regret, but that could be quickly forgotten.

Here things are different. If one of us throws such a fit in a public place, there are certain consequences to follow. We might not have a close friend or family member nearby, but rest assured, someone in the vicinity, will have an idea of who we are.

In our small world, there is something that I compare to a "jungle telegraph!" Events can happen like the above outburst, and seemingly within minutes, the story has miraculously been transmitted, to countless local individuals.

It doesn't matter if they know you personally. Be assured, they will know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows you. In short order, your life history will be retold to all who want the proverbial "rest of the story."

It is here that one of our small town idiosyncrasies runs amok. Invariably when information is passed from one individual to another, the story often gets distorted or embellished.

There is something in us as humans that allows us to enjoy the salacious aspects of gossip. There is some great satisfaction that is derived from being the first to tell the tale. Forget that we may not actually have the truth; after all we heard it from a good source, didn't we?

I am not chastising any of you, without looking in the mirror of my own conscience. As I have grown older and supposedly wiser, I generally give a disclaimer along with my story. It goes something like this: "Now what I am going to tell you is just what I have heard, and I don't have all the proof yet."

I appease my sense of guilt with that admonition. In reality, I am still able to feel the joy of community gossip, but I can always say later, that I did offer such a qualifier. In truth, I realize that I am just as guilty as any other gossiper. I love to spread the word, and worry about the truth later.

Despite all the negative aspects of our familiarity with each other, there is much that is good. Just as we learn from an early age not to behave badly in public, our sense of community bonding makes us more open to compassion and consideration for others.

In my early childhood, there was a fire that destroyed a family home in the Milo area. I vividly remember the entire community coming together at the old Milo School, for a benefit.

The room was filled with gifts of every imaginable kind that would help this family rebuild at least a part of their lives. I took particular interest in the toys that my mother made sure to put in her gift basket for the children of the family. I remember her saying, "they need more than just clothes, furniture, and appliances."

Our local community has wonderful charities that have a local flavor too. The Vernon County Cancer Relief Fund is one that is a shining example. We don't just depend on insurance and the government for services in our town.

Many of our local civic clubs do admirable work raising funds for all types of needs. I have seen the looks on people's faces when they receive needed help. I have also seen the genuine joy on the faces of those who give.

Yes, the faces of my small town world are familiar. I don't always know their names, and I am sure many of them don't know me personally. That does not mean we don't know each other in ways that city folk never could.

Our town suffered another tragedy last weekend. It was almost too painful to comprehend, the loss of someone so young and full of life. Our community did what it always does in times of need like this. They wrapped their love around the family, and let them know in so many ways, that they are loved and cared for. Let's all keep nodding at each other, because in the end that's the best of who we are.