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Jason Mosher

Sheriff's Journal

Vernon County Sheriff.

That boy has the demon of alcohol in him!

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Trying to explain something simple to a drunk person is like trying to teach a two-year-old how to build a flow chart for NASA. They look at you very intently for a minute and then ask the smartest question they can to let you know they are listening. In one instance I explained to an intoxicated driver that he was being pulled over because he was driving not only on the wrong side of the road but partially on the sidewalk of the wrong side of the road. After listening with a very direct stare and occasional nodding of his head, the man finally stated, “Those sidewalks are not wide enough for two people to walk down.” I agreed with him and then explained again the problem with him driving on them. His next statement was, “They need to get those crosswalks fixed before someone gets hurt,” and after the third time I explained why I stopped him he asked me if I wanted to follow him to his house and see his new fence. When I demonstrated how to perform the walk and turn test he told me he would just sit down while he called someone about his tires and proceeded to lay down in the road. It goes without saying that he went to jail. I arrested a person for trespassing after he was caught in a stranger’s house, who began telling me that an old lady scared him because he was trying to use the phone in her house and she sounded like the devil when she yelled at him. He did not understand the problem was that he was in her house and he was not even in the right town. After I placed him in my patrol car, the elderly lady started shaking her finger towards the man and told me, “That boy has the demon of alcohol in him.” The lady said I saved her when I arrived and arrested him, but to this day I think I saved the drunken man from her!

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