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Jason Mosher

Sheriff's Journal

Vernon County Sheriff.

Oh, what tangled webs we weave

Saturday, May 5, 2018

People try all different ways of getting out of trouble when they think the trouble could land them in the county jail. There are a few ideas that do not work so well but some people have not figured that out yet. So, here are some tips: do not hide in a closet that is too small for you to fit in, because it is easy to spot you. When using someone else’s name to keep from getting in trouble, make sure that “someone else” does not have a warrant. When being sneaky and trying to sneak contraband into the jail, do not forget there are cameras right above you. When you ask to take the money from your pocket with you to jail, try and remember it was with a bag of meth that you just denied knowing anything about. And if you get confused about what story you told the cops, try and refrain from starting over with a different story, because then you get confused and your story stops making sense. It does not do any good to crouch and be “sneaky” when breaking into someone’s home. Their security camera will record you the same whether you are crouching or standing up. If you say you were “looking for gas” when you pull over and start wandering through people’s property, make sure the car you are driving does not have a full tank. If you are going to run from the cops, make sure your gas tank is full! It gets confusing, but this is very important to get right. And while we are on the subject about running in cars, try to avoid the dead-end roads; those do not get you very far.

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