Buy now!

I have not liked what I am hearing on the news these days so I have switched channels to other programs. That has given me a new problem. There are different commercials on these channels than the ones I had been watching. The problem isn't that I am tempted to buy more things. The problem is that I can't understand the commercials.

My readers know by now that I have a hearing problem. But that isn't what is causing my confusion. The commercials are usually plenty loud. I can hear them clearly. I just don't understand their message.

It seems to me that often the pictures, or even the dialog, have nothing to do with the product. There are times that I am not really sure until the very end when some trademark or logo appears to explain what it is that the ad is promoting.

I realize that there are inside meanings to some statements that I am too far "out of it" to understand. I will show just how far out I am if I confess that I don't know what a camel walking through an office is supposed to mean to me. The camel says something like, "Don't pretend that you don't see me." I see him fine. Although I may not see him clearly enough to know if the camel is male or female. But what I can't see is what I am supposed to have learned from the commercial.

Some ads are equally confusing until the end when one of the characters opens a bottle of Coca Cola and swigs it down. Then I know that they are selling that soft drink. If I haven't understood the emotions of the little scene I at least know that in their minds the solution to many problems is a refreshing drink. Personally I prefer Dr. Pepper myself in spite of the little scenario I just watched.

There is another ad that claims that people that know, know B D O. I must not know because when I googled B D O I didn't get much information. It probably is an office supply place but I'm not sure. Or maybe I had the wrong letters? Whatever, I obviously am not a person who knows. I realize they are trying to make us feel ignorant if we don't already know all about them. But I am not seduced into buying a product by being made to feel ignorant.

One of my most favorite advertisements of all time is the one of a bunch of cowboys rounding up a field of cats. One even has a kitten stretched out over his saddle, and others have lassoes in the air trying to rope some of the many cats running all over a hill. Although it is my favorite ad, I do not remember what it was advertising. It has stayed in my mind for several years. (I think it was originally a Super Bowl ad) but the product has not stayed in my mind. It seems a shame that the creators of such a good image didn't impress upon my mind that their product was superior.

In comparison to these new ads I don't think I will ever forget the cute Oscar Mayers Wiener ad with the adorable child singing about the hot dog he loves. I can almost sing along with him in my memory. "I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener..." Children and hot dogs I understand. The Band-Aid bandage ads also are very clear in that they show a child gladly being treated for a cut because he is getting to wear a Band Aid bandage.

Maybe the corporations need to understand that most of us don't want to have to think deeply about an advertisement. If the picture, jingle, and dialog all repeat the same message, most of us will understand. Whether we buy or not is the next question. Perhaps the price means more than any of the other approaches.

I don't buy quantities of Bon Ami but I love their slogan, "Hasn't scratched yet," under a picture of a new born fuzzy chick. That one I do understand.